Everyday I strive for perfection. I want to wake up at the perfect hour, have a perfect morning, have breakfast at the right time, have a morning walk before I bike to work (calmly and not rushed), do my laundry on time so I never have to worry about not having clean underwear. And guess what? I fail at these things every single day. And still every day I decide that I am going to strive for these things, resulting in having a very very low self image.

So I have decided to do the opposite of what I have been doing so far: to decide that this is what it is. I am extremely, highly imperfect. Some days I am up, some days I am down. Some days I wake up right when my alarm goes off, some days I scroll on IG for hours before getting out of bed, ending up watching Netflix before doing anything productive and not making myself breakfast until 2:30pm. Yes, I have those days.

And it’s not just my personal life, it is work as well. Some rare days I perform really well, most days I perform extremely mediocre and some more days I achieve even less that that. I occasionally forget things and I procrastinate so many things all the time. But I still show up every single day. For work and for my life. I do my best to take care of myself: to eat every day, to do my laundry, to dress myself, to occasionally go the gym, to maintain a social life, to spend time with my family and to be a girlfriend to my boyfriend. And guess what, I am highly imperfect and flawed in all of those things.

But I am deciding right now that showing up for my own life every single day is enough and I am not going exhaust myself anymore with trying to be anything more than what I am right now.

I am not a perfectly organized human being, I am not a high performer at work, I am imperfect girlfriend, an imperfect friend, an imperfect (grand)daughter, sister, cousin, you name it, an imperfect house mate.

And I also understand that this little blog post is imperfect. It is unstructured and I did not think about what I was going to write. I just started and ended with this. But: it is what it is.